he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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