I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
