just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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