Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
