Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
