Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She bit a glass in half.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
