i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
