just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
