the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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