They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
