Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
