I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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