On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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