and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
