So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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