Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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