**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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