i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
