my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
