is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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