I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
