Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
