This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Shame - the story of my life.
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