Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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