I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
