69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
