College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I love you. Go after that dick
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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