But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
