If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
