I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
