ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
