Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
