yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
