oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize