Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
