I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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