we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize