Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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