her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
