He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
