I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
