What a fucking waste of an outfit
Small penises have feelings too.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
