Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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