We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize