Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
