Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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