I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize