I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize