just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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