I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
