There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
