fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize