tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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