operation harelip BJ is a go
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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