Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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