this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
