you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
