i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just had sex on a roof
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
