we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize