what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
