he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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